Is my lifestyle changing?
Well I had the better part of a bag of crisps with dip for a morning snack this morning, so on the surface it seems like not so much.
But that is just on the surface. Today I just happened to have a craving for crisps. I still had salad for lunch and went for a swim. I’ve drunk over a litre of water, taken plenty of breaks and will probably be in bed tonight around 9.00 pm.
I am taking care of myself. A lot better than I ever have before.
Have I lost weight?
No, not even a bit.
Do I feel good?
Mostly I do feel really good. I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat salad or some other form of uncooked vegetable at least once per day and I’ve been combining that with protein and vegetable rich meals at night. I consume alcohol, sweets and takeaways moderately and do feel much better for having cut back a little.
On the minus side sometimes I don’t think I eat enough and I end up feeling absolutely ravenous. And then I still ignore my hunger. That’s frustrating.
And I worry about exercise a lot. I worry before that I won’t do it, during that its going to hurt or be too much and after that I haven’t done enough or alternatively I’ve done too much and exacerbated by back injury. Sigh. Exercise is not yet something that I enjoy regularly.
I am exercising though. Not every day but usually every other day, and I try at least once per week to go out and do something that’s really physically challenging. I’m afraid a lot when I exercise and I want to move past that to a point where I know and am comfortable with my own limitations.
Best of all I feel really accepting of myself. I spend a lot of time looking at women who look like me, rather than those in fashion magazines or on television or movies, which helps a lot. The more I recognise their beauty the more I can recognise my own. It’s great.
I still worry about health but try as often as I can to put that out of my mind.
Instead I focus on the steps that I am taking, how that’s making me feel and, well, funny story, but I really enjoy salad!
Little by little a little becomes a lot. I’m working on that little by little. Persisting even.
Now I just need a clear vision of where I’m going.