Embracing Fat Acceptance

I’m really enjoying NaBloPoMo; it’s a great opportunity for me to really explore a subject that’s been going around and around in my head lately.

EMBRACING FAT ACCEPTANCE

POST #4

One of the things that I really wanted to achieve with this series of posts is an examination of what I’ve been thinking and feeling in terms of body shape, body size and body acceptance.

I write a blog called Style Your Body Shape which explores different female body shapes and what does and doesn’t work clothing wise. Researching this blog has been both an incredible benefit for me and, sadly, highlighted far more issues going on for me that just want pants will best suit my over-sized butt. Which I do know by the way.

The first step with working with your shape is to accept it as it is. Which, got to say, much easier said than done. Wanting to find out more about body acceptance I started researching and that led me to the world of fat acceptance and from there to reading such books as Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon and Good Calories Bad Calories by Gary Taubes.

I’ve always had this underlying hatred for my body; the size of it and it’s stubborn refusal to do as it’s damn well told. At various times through my life I’ve desperately wanted to be thin and beautiful and acceptable. I’ve dieted, I’ve exercised manically, I’ve starved and eaten weird food combinations and failed, and failed and failed. It got to the point where dieting success became the precursor to real success. If I could only loose weight then I could also follow some of my other dreams.

But underlying all of that was a towering resentment. Why should I have to change? What is wrong with me the way I am? I know I’m meant to be dying from some tragic disease bought on by my own lack of self control but I feel fine. I’m never sick. I don’t have high blood pressure. I don’t have high cholesterol, or strange glucose patterns or, anything at all really. Sometimes I have aches and pains through my back and hips, but then so does my mother, and she’s a tiny little thing. In short; I’m bigger than society has deemed acceptable and not sick.

My foray into the fat acceptance world has opened up my eyes amazingly. A lot of what is talked about in the media is just complete crap. It is very possible to be fat and fit. It is also very possible to be thin and ill. In fact the size and shape of a person’s body is not an indication of much more than the size of their pants. This whole loose weight or die campaign that’s going on is based on unproved science and false advertising.

And it’s created a world where people are obsessed with size and the pressure to maintain / loose / get smaller is phenomenal. Basically we worship beauty and youth and anyone who doesn’t meet that ideal is bad. It makes me so angry.

The flip side of that is fat discrimination is rampant and size and shape harassment is common in many people’s lives. The fat acceptance movement is about fighting to address those societal views and offering support for those who suffer. I fully support the fat acceptance movement. Discrimination is wrong in any form.

The thing is, yesterday, I was walking down the street and a couple with a baby in a stroller were walking toward me. I stepped off the narrow pathway to give them room and thought “they’re probably thinking, yeah move your fat ass”. In truth they were talking and probably didn’t even notice me. The point for me is though how is this message any more helpful than the previous self hatred? It’s still manifesting in thoughts of hatred for my body. Just now I think it comes from other people.

Photo credit: Freakapotimus