Today is just another day. My world is still ticking along. Things are proceeding in my life, it feels like snail speed, but proceeding none the less. And that’s good. I have a plan you see. I have a goal and a place I want to get to.
My dream is to work for myself, writing. Eventually I’d love to become a novelist. I love stories, love reading and especially love making up stories. And, although I can recognise a well crafted story when I see or read one I have no personal skill in writing a story. At least not yet. I need to practice. I need to carve out some time and practice writing.
And that is of course the problem. I have a full-time job, I’m landscaping and renovating my home and trying to build an online business all at the same time and that doesn’t leave much room for writing stories. Its confusing that I’ve identified something that I really want to do and am not actually pursuing that. Any decent life coach would say to me, focus on what you truly want. It’s by constant attention and incremental steps in the direction you want to go that you draw into your life that which you truly love.
I do agree. And I am doing that, even though it seems I’m not.
When I first started visualising I thought, OK, what I really, really want is money. Show me the money. That is what I want. Lots and lots of money. Yeah, that’d be sweet.
It was a bit of shock then when I carved time out to visualise that what I thought about was how much I wanted to be in a relationship. Especially since I was very happy being single. Only, turns out, not so much, because what I thought about was how wonderful it would be to have a loving, intimate relationship with someone I really liked. How great that would be. I thought about having someone to come home to; someone to talk with, share a life with, make plans with. Well, that and sex. I thought about sex quite a lot to.
About eleven months later I ended up in a relationship with a man I’m very in love with and, well, we had lots of ups and downs. We still do but, we’re closer now than ever, I’m very happy and being in a relationship has turned out to be so much better than I dreamed. Not because it’s like the dream, because it’s not. Often it’s hard and challenging and really emotional but it’s also rewarding and fun and it’s taken me places I would never have thought I would go. Like buying a house. I always wanted to own a home and because of my relationship now I do. Plus, well, there’s the sex.
So, eventually I went back to the visualising. This time, show me the money.
Only, again, not so much. This time what I think about is freedom. I want to have time to do the things I love. Like being active, travelling, helping people. All things that I want to do as often as I can, but struggle with now because of the demands of a full time job with commute. I want to be free to learn to craft an exciting story. I want to be free to enjoy moving my body without feeling stressed and pressured and like it’s a chore. I want to create something that’s really helpful for other people.
Basically, my full-time job has got to go. It’s far too time consuming.To do that though I need an alternative, or better yet, several alternative streams of income.
I’m building an online business. Right now I’m working on my first website www.bodyshapestyle.com getting it to a point where it’s generating income. Then build another, and another until multiple streams. And in the meantime I learn to write, I learn to focus on one thing and bring it to fruition, I learn to discipline and motivate myself. I learn to be self employed.
That’s what I visualise about now and what strikes me is that money isn’t in that mix at all. Money is just a tool after all and what we want is usually what we believe money will bring to us. In my case freedom.
What is it in your case?
Lisa
Leave a Reply