I had a bit of a moment last week. Or rather a few days actually. Days where I felt overwhelmed, days where I felt sad and frustrated and generally just at odds with the world and everyone in it.
I wanted to feel better so what I did was get out some Abraham-Hicks CD’s that I have and listened to them. The idea being that listening to positive thoughts and ideas is better than listening to my own negative thoughts and, if I can change those thoughts, I will end up feeling better. It did work but not quite in the way that I’d hoped.
Who Is Abraham-Hicks? If you’ve seen the movie The Secret you’ll be aware of the law of attraction. Depending on which version of the movie you saw (Abraham-Hicks is the core of the first movie but is edited out in the second) you or may not know who Abraham-Hicks is. Basically, Gerry and Esther Hicks present the teachings of Abraham, which is the teachings shown in the movie The Secret. There’s a whole backstory there about who Abraham is and how the whole thing came about that can be accessed here.
The teachings of Abraham are all about thoughts and emotions. The thoughts we think on any given subject govern the emotions we feel. According to Abraham-Hicks there are only two sorts of feelings; good and bad. Good feelings are hope, love, desire, happiness, contentment and so forth. Bad feelings are jealousy, anger, depression, sadness and so forth.
The thoughts we think generate the emotions we feel. So, basically, if you’re feeling bad the thought you have on a particular subject is not what you want to experience. If you feel good, what you’re thinking is exactly what you want to have happen.
It sounds really simple but it’s not. In fact our minds and our consciousness are such complex things that we often think that what we’re thinking is positive when in fact not so much. And this is something I learnt about myself last week. I think I’m being positive and moving forward but in fact I’m really focused on the lack in my life.
For instance, I had a major life choice to make over the week. I opted not to take advantage of an opportunity that was offered to me, which I did for a number of reasons including financial ones, but also to do with life goals and a number of complex things. My partner had only one focus and that was money. But, he didn’t want to influence my decision based on his one focus so he choose to leave the whole thing up to me. He trusted that I would make the right decision, or at least make the decision work whatever I choose.
Which on the surface sounds really great; and it is fantastic to have a partner who has such belief in me. But, actually, I felt abandoned. I felt unsupported. I really needed to talk to someone about it and my partner would have been ideal. The fact that he just left it up to me left me feeling so sad, which compounded how sad I felt about letting the opportunity pass.
So I sulked for a couple of days before finally talking to my man and sorting things out, after which I felt much better.
I carried on listening to Abraham-Hicks anyway because the CD was there. Imagine my surprise when it got to the point of saying often we think we’re holding a positive view of something when in fact what we’re really holding on to is the lack. I saw that was what I did with my partner. The only thing I was seeing was how he didn’t support me, how he wasn’t available to me.
I did note that he trusted me and wanted me to make a decision that worked for me and would make me happy. Whatever that decision he would fully support me, whether he agreed with it or not. I noted it but didn’t really appreciate it. And seriously now I feel quite ashamed. Its an amazing thing to have such a supportive partner.
The thing is I notice I do it with a lot of things. Often my overriding feeling about my business is frustration. Often much of what I’m trying to do I feel frustrated about. I’m just not moving forward quickly enough, or not doing as well as I hoped I would. I try knew things and expect to be instantly good at them and get bogged down with doubt when I’m not.
In short, the way I’m feeling is holding me back. I’m focusing on the lack in my life and completely ignoring the good things. The successes I do have, the fact that I’m working toward a dream, the fabulous people in my life.
I’m being ungrateful.
So, I have a new project. I am going to learn to love myself, my body, my life right now, just exactly as it is. This is the feeling that will fulfil. This is the feeling that will take me forward. Ugh! There I go, doing it again. The point is not to do something to take me forward, to change where I am now, it’s to gain a full appreciation of where I am now. Yes there are things that I’d love if they changed. But equally there are plenty of things now that I’m just delighted in.
Gratitude is fundamental to happiness and its time to really get an appreciation of that.
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