Fear of Success Is Real

In my last job I was bullied. It started out as one person picking on me, which is not really a problem. Some people are assholes and you just got to deal. It was other people taking sides, our boss taking sides and even perpetuating the behaviour that really upset me. A bully is one thing, but a group supporting and condoning that behaviour is rubbish.

In my experience though that’s pretty much what people are about. Fitting in, supporting the status quo. I think that’s the most dangerous thing in the world. Being so determined to be accepted, to be part of the group, undermines personal integrity and we up with generally decent people who go along with the assholes.

Jo Freeman in her article Trashing: The Dark Side discusses the phenomenon of bullying in context the feminist. Its same thing again; its not so much the actual bullying, which in a lot of ways is negligible, its the insidious group behaviour that creates issues.

And this sort of behaviour is aimed at those that stand out. Freeman notes

“And who do they attack? Generally two categories. . . Achievement or accomplishment of any kind would seem to be the worst crime: … do anything . . . that every other woman secretly or otherwise feels she could do just as well — and … you’re in for it. If then … you are assertive, have what is generally described as a ‘forceful personality/ if … you do not fit the conventional stereotype of a ‘feminine’ woman, … it’s all over.

This sort of bullying and ostracism is usually framed as something that women do to other women, but I don’t really think that men should be excluded. This behaviour is repeated all over the world in all sorts of different groups big and small. It’s about protecting the status quo, knocking down those who achieve more or better than the group, before they get to a point where they become the star.

Witness gossip magazines; their whole reason for being is to tear down those who have stepped above the crowd.

Apparently being afraid of success, of accomplishment, has its roots in sound survival strategy. Fear of success is real, accept it, ignore it and move on.