Day 129: So Now What?
I’m feeling somewhat overwhelmed by what’s happening.
I love that we have our home, but I’m concerned about how we’re actually going to pay for it.
I love that our home needs landscaping, but I’m daunted by the sheer scale of the task ahead of us.
I love that I’m taking the time and effort to build a business, but I’m at a loss as to how to make it work.
I feel like I’m going around and around in circles.
So the thing to do here is come back to what it is that I want.
I want to sell clothes. Lots and lots of pretty clothes.
Or do I?
Mostly what I love to do is write. I also love to talk about clothes. I love to encourage people and I especially love to pass on knowledge.
The whole goal here is to make money via an Internet based business so that I can quit my day job and travel secure in the knowledge that my income will continue, even if it means I need to work on my laptop in the middle of Prague or where ever I happen to be.
What I need to do is focus squarely on the fact that I’m building a successful Internet delivered business and get on with it.
In other words keep focussing on the outcome and release the “how” and let the law of attraction work for me.
Day 128: A New Start
I’ve been feeling really antsy of late, which is a made up word that basically means out-of-sorts.
I’m bored. I’m bored with doing the same thing over and over again.
Its time for me to change my life, which is ironic because I thought that was what I’ve been doing all this time. I’m restarting where I’m heading, which again is ironic.
That’s exactly how I feel; like I’ve been given a new lease on life. It’s time to really pursue what I want out of life.
The thing is I’m already persuing exactly what it is that I want out of life and I have been for quite some time now.
It still feels like a new start though.
Day 127: So … What Sort Of Business Are You In?
Over the last 10 days, and lets be honest, probably two weeks prior to that, I’ve done nothing business related except write in this blog. And as I’m not actually promoting this blog or using it in any way to generate traffic that’s all pretty much a waste of time.
I read something the other day that really resonated with me: “your blog is not your business, it’s only a means of promoting your business”.
This resonated pretty strongly for me because my business is fairly non existent.
In some ways I’ve not even decided what my business is.
I thought for the longest time that I wanted to be a writer. I love to write. I love to share my thoughts and ideas. I’m still kicking this around as well because at the end of the day I think I have a considerable amount to say.
I also love business – everything about it from producing an excellent product to providing excellent customer service and following up on the little bits and pieces.
Now that I’ve been working on things for a while I know that I also love clothes. I want to sell lots and lots of clothes at great prices to grateful and happy customers. I want to help people make decisions about what to wear, or rather, express my ideas, market the clothes that make them work and, hopefully, make a lot of money.
I’m restarting the business, actually restarting my personal life, following the move to this house. And change is really necessary because I’m finding that I have a lot of issues with stress and well, weight.
I’d like to put some thought into how that life would be.
Time for a new mind movie!
Day 116 – 126 Moving
It turns out the process of moving was a lot more involved than I might have thought.
My plan was move the day the house settled (Friday) finishing off the day after (Saturday) and then unpacking next day (Sunday) before starting the week off fresh and new and able to get moving.
The first part when to plan – we moved out over the two days, in the pouring rain I might add. It was not a pleasant experience. The final inspection and the last of my renting days was wound up with no fuss. After all I spent quite a considerable amount of time making sure that the property was clean and tidy.
The moving in part was a lot more difficult.
Basically we took what was in a four bedroom plus office house and moved it into a three bedroom house. The poor wee house is literally bursting at the seams. Dealing with it means some fairly careful use of space.
We’ve put up shelves and redone wardrobes and built desks and so on. I say we, but I mean my partner.
I went to work and came home and lamented that my home was such a mess.
And this is all before we undertake massive upgrades of the gardens. Holy crap!
Anyway, the unpacking is three quarters complete. I at least have some living space now.
No internet yet though, which could be a bit of an issue.
Day 115: Life Just Keeps On Going
Just when I think things might finally be settling down into some sort of routine another shock comes along.
My partner is moving to night shift.
Basically our routines will be so different that in effect we will not see each other at all during the week.
And he didn’t even think about what that would mean.
I feel abandoned.
Although I do see the practical application of being able to work on my business more.
I also see the delineation of separate lives.
Crap, crap and crap.
Day 114: Stuck
Everything is all packed up.
My PC is on a coffee table in what used to be my office and is now my lounge.
There is stuff from one end of the house to the other.
I can’t wait for this week to be over.
Day 113: Furniture Shopping & Self Doubt
We spent the day looking at furniture.
I feel really guilty about not doing some actual cleaning or packing, but as my partner says, we spent time together visualizing and that’s important as well.
Plus … an opportunity to relax and unwind.
Still, by the end of the day I felt quite keyed up and anxious.
I think it may be all the decisions still to make.
I don’t know why, when my future looks like so much fun, I would see it as stressful. Perhaps because of the many, many things I’ve still to do.
Plus I feel this low grade guilt about not working on my business at the moment, even though I know ordering my life, visualizing and bonding with my partner are all things that will make my business much more successful.
I guess I just feel this underlying sense of … uncertainty.
Is this really what I want?
Day 112: Things Are Happening
I spent much of the day tidying up the garden of our rental property.
We also did a final inspection of the house.
Oh, my gosh, this is really happening.
I’m a homeowner.
Wow.
Day 111: Getting Organised
We are moving house in one week today.
Thank God for that.
Buying a house takes a whole lot longer than finding a place to rent.
You would think that would make it less stressful but all it does is draw out the anxiety.
Please let it be over quickly.
Day 110: Cycles
Its amazing how things happen in cycles.
Well they do in my life anyway.
About two years ago I went on holiday to Thailand. It was a life changing experience for me and kicked off a revamp of my wardrobe. I’d decided I was unhappy with the way I looked and needed to become more elegant and just plain better dressed.
That was the catalyst for starting my website www.bodyshapestyle.com and I guess this site as well.
So I spent a lot of time and money trying new things and generally becoming better dressed.
Only to wind up where I am now, hating my wardrobe – again – and wanting to revamp and become more elegant and feminine.
Its weird how things like that come around, seem to get dealt with, only to come around again.
I guess the moral of the storey is that it didn’t actually get dealt with.
Maybe this time.